I am pleased to announce that I am back! That is , the future me, unbeknownst to you, I almost lost him for a while there….not to worry, that is not going to happen…..for I have spent so much time recently getting to know him , see his every detail, follow the path to him, love the journey come what may, trusting the end is worth confronting every obstacle.
All that being acknowledged…….. during week 12 I flailed…. I was away on an all inclusive vacation just outside of Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic. I was traveling with my partner Jasanna, and we were finally experiencing our first trip which we manifested together.
We had both been working very hard during the year , weeks and months leading up to this trip, and very much enjoyed the opportunity to have no major responsibilities, bask in the sunshine, swim in the ocean… eat, sleep, make love, whenever we wanted.
Before our departure while I was away teaching, staying in a hotel room, Jasanna and I had an epiphany of sorts, while talking on the phone … we saw, felt, visualized, and realized our combined DMP, a common goal, with true purpose… I mentioned it in my last blog … a way to share our special talents, to give children, and adults, inspiration and belief that you can be anything you want to be….follow, and live your bliss…. it was fresh and charged ….. it is already real, many details in place…. the Journey to our future selves begins. …. When we are on vacation, we can mastermind all day and really refine our vision…….Well………that didn’t happen.
We were successful on minimizing our involvement with the social, judgemental, glutenous side of an all inclusive vacation, but for the first time in a while, were reminded of that feeling of…Fuck It… I’ll do whatever I want…..I want to be lazy….I want to get drunk…..I’m doing no work of any kind……I deserve this!.
We really did deserve some downtime, a trip together, we deserved to get pampered and catered to, it was time to reward ourselves for our hard work. ….. In exchange…..we will build the foundation of our new blueprint, visualize its every detail…. (in the end this did truly activate.)…..however….. once immersed in the culture of decadence, self indulgence, maximizing every dollar, every movement, every drink, every bit of sunlight….working on a dmp, or a plan of action to reach our new vision just never seemed to happen. Its easy to justify that the overwhelming nature of the resort, the intense heat, excessive eating/ drinking, and the old habit of being unconscious, blissfully ignorant, happy and friendly yet very lazy, often displace feelings of discipline, commitment, accountability, and purpose….and besides….the beach was really windy, not good for paperwork….haha.
I also noticed it when I was teaching the week before as well. I observed a few of my students in the evenings…. other than the small amount of homework I gave them, they were free, out of their normal routine, no responsibilities, no plan, just being there in the moment….I had that Sunday’s webinar to listen to still, another scroll to read, my Dmp, my BPB, listen to my recording, read my chore cards, read “in the flow”, “the laws of the mind”, “the way people learn… …I still had 10 more “do it now’s” and and I only willed what I might be 10 times so far….and in truth…..I had no desire to do any of these…I felt burnt out….I wanted a break ….from discipline, from obligations….since the start of the mental diet, I had never felt worse????? Becoming aware of my normal vocabulary and observing my thoughts and interactions with people has been eye opening…..my pattern, my humour, my gauge for what type of person I enjoy has always centered around their response to biting sarcastic wit….If they immediately step it up, and come back strong….. respect is gained….I respect everyone…but… If they get all “offended millennial” on me, I have no interest in getting to know them..initially….they are too soft……this character evaluation system of mine doesn’t work well with the MKE mental diet…..No opinions at all? No negative ( sounding) thoughts….I may have to just bury my head in the sand and talk to no one…lol….truly silence may be the only answer.
Upon resettling at home….after a long work haul and a busy trip, my vigor and my enthusiasm are coming back, my desire to infect the world with positivity and love, once again seems like the most worthy thing to work hard towards achieving.
I almost quit…..I hate to admit it….. Just getting what i felt was a bit behind, made it more daunting….I don’t want to change how I interact with people, I like sarcasm and quick wit….to me its a sign of intelligence, tolerance, and acceptance that no one is perfect….I am adapting, I can still be funny without a harsh edge, I will bring myself and people up with a more positive humor….and maybe sometimes, just don’t say anything, be a silent observer….ha,,,,what a concept.
It felt like Mark was speaking right to me on the week 13 webcast…..especially after contemplating quitting the course, I was a cliche, doing what a bunch of people do at this point of the course….get scared, want to give up….make excuses……do not do the work…..in many ways I am excelling at certain aspects of the work…big parts of my DMP are being executed on time, with pride and real results…I must embrace the details, the firing and wiring is critical.
The New DMP is out on the table getting tweaked. Smart goals, and a POA, are almost in place….time to pick a theme, time frames, and dollar figures, ….. I am completely re-animated…..got my cards up to date…wrote out a ton of them tonight….I loved the 2 webinars I had missed, a second listen on a few main points, was worth every bit of time…..It was so fitting that it really dove into why we have the urge to quit…..I really was that guy….and I understand why…..I love myself for being able to see the difference, for having the courage to follow my dream, and to take small steps towards it every day…..Like I said, I’m back…..I persist,…..I’m inspired…..I am doing it now!!!!!
Next blog, coming right up, more revelations!….Cheers.